bennydecember

19. In that moment Where one year ended and the next one began No life seemed to pump through my veins Going through the motions No passion No devotion Drowned the numbness In waves of liquor Smoked out the cold with drugs Hoping it would push the demons away Knowing all too well, It was only the shit in my head pulling me under Brought in the New Year Surrounded by faceless others Living a reckless lifestyle It was a night that ended in tears Nothing was lost, so nothing was gained The death of a friend That shook everyone to their core We didn’t know how to handle it all Waited out the cold Throughout the shortest month Began tryi

I fall in love with details Like the way your hair falls After my hands run through it How your eyes Turned the brightest green When the sun hits them The way you walked down the street My hand inside yours How you grabbed me by the waist For the world to see The way you’d tickle my sides Causing me to laugh uncontrollably The way your arms held me Into the early morning hours The way you laughed After I made a stupid joke The way your lips felt Never wanting to release from mine The way your voice cracked When you said you loved me The way my world crashed When you said it was over I know that you cried a little bit But I died a lit

You held me You touched me You fucked me You had me Now there’s pills in your hand And thoughts in your head You can’t take it So you’ll numb yourself down Until you can’t tell You’re alone in your bed without me We started out so innocently A kiss at a concert Touched your lips so gently Never meant for it to mean too much But now there’s songs I can’t listen to And memories I can’t erase If I photoshop you out of the frame Could it have eased my pain? Why won’t your memory just let go? You were the devil inside my skin Lips of cigarette smoke And the touch softer than velvet Thought

He grew on me Like mold On a dessert you just Weren’t in the mood for right then He came to me Because I begged him to Like a small child begs For a toy they can’t have He kissed me Because he asked permission Like a perfect gentlemen With the Devil behind his eyes He fucked me Because I wanted him to Like a wish on a star You pray comes true He held my hand Like he was meant to As if it was a reaction To someone hitting your knee He whispered in my ear Because he felt like it Like a demon promising Good fortune to those who obey He left me Because he could Like a murderer Killing out of boredom He denies my existence Like